well here i am at a new place. i was actually in boston today , all day with my favorite doctors that are keeping all my marbles in the bag. let me tell you that that is a tough task as of late. feelings of inadiquacy have been rolling round in my brains and and affecting my day to day life. being out of work has not helped out any either.
I also found some new facts regarding , i think what we all go through be transpeople.
hormonal changes taking place and replacing the male personna and remanufacturing your innerds into a female are complicated and intimate. it affects us all internally and sends a whole different set of chemically transmitted signals to all those funny little neuro sensors that we all posess. it's not just about the external changes that are all so apparent. but more how our bodies interpret these signals.
we have been brainwashed in a sense to act as a male(or female in some cases) and thats what we were used to in our past false gender if you will, and now we are (refering to MTF'S) trying to understand anf interprit what it is to actually be feminine. femininity is more than just throwing on womans clothing and growing breasts.
its how we react to different stimuli. how we percieve life around us.

in the past i have worked with little kids babysitting them while their parents were in church. i started my first adventure in a hospital while vollanteering when i was a teen. worked in an assisted care facility and later on in a hospital.i have never held a position any higher than that of a labor worker either in environmental services or in a maint dept.
all positions afforded me the ability to interact on a more intimate level than most workers in the facilty i worked in. i would go out of my way to ensure that the patients knew that there was someone on staff other than the medical teams that took interest in their personal well being.

its no wonder that NOW i am trying to get back into the hospital setting.

i found out today that that was my inner nurturing, the feminine me that was inadvertantly, but subtlely me. hmmmm..........food for thought. i do not know where i am going or really how to get there but i do know that there is a definitive feminie me that is breaking through, and finally being noticed and admired, and finally accepted. its a beatiful thing.
more to follow